Greenwich Wellness Rooms offers counselling, holistic therapies London

Couples Counselling

Attaching to the right partner and staying together is seldom to be a simple process or journey.

Whether you attend our therapy rooms in Greenwich singly or come with your partner/s– gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, heterosexual or transgender – are married, in a civil partnership, living together or apart, our therapists are here to help you, however, you identify and with whatever relationship problems you may have.

Common Relationship Issues are:

* Arguing and conflict

* Affairs or betrayal

* Abusive behaviour

* Communication

* Controlling behaviour

* Different goals and values

* Different parenting styles

* Different sexual needs or other sexual issues

* Family conflicts

* Financial issues

* Jealousy

* Life changes

* Trust

* Work-related stress

Couples therapy and counselling can facilitate issues within the relationship at any point. There seems to be an idea that relationships only require counselling when they become ‘bad’. Relationship therapy can be used as a tool to make your marriage/partnership stronger, by learning how to communicate your thoughts and feelings more clearly. Communication within a marriage, partnership or relationship facilitates a clear understanding of the underlying issues, difficulties and experiences and helps find an agreed way of resolve.

Relationship counselling

Problems within relationships can be complex, as well as exploring the current concerns and challenges, relationship therapy can be helpful to explore what may lay behind these situations for both individuals and couples. Sometimes the current difficulties may stem from experiences in our childhood, paying attention to both the present and the past facilitates change resolution.

 

Attachment Theory

Science has proven that our early years of life are when brain activity is at its peak. Being fed, kept clean and warm are fundamental. However, our brain needs more than these basic needs for us to develop good mental health and resilience. This healthy brain development is obtained through attuned interactions from the caregivers; touching, gazing and cooing.

Our earliest experience of relationships, primarily with our main caregiver, governs how we relate to others during our adult life. The quality of this core early bond, and its interactions are vital to feeling safe and worthy during our early years, and if this was felt during our infancy and childhood we stand a better chance in experiencing healthy relationships during our adult lives.

For this to happen, we only need to receive ‘good enough’ care during our early formative years. What is meant by this is a caregiver who is attuned to the child’s needs coupled with healthy relationships around them, good fair structure, consistency and a safe place for the child to explore and grow is vital for a secure attachment.

What happens if we do not receive good enough care?

If for instance, if one is born into a family and the caregiver is not available, depressed or anxious etc., the child will still grow, as a plant does towards the light through a small crack, but not as robust as one that has had good attunement. If good enough care is not available and the caregiver continuously causes ruptures in the relationship the child eventually develops coping strategies to protect it. Whilst these strategies work well during the childs life by keeping them safe they continue through adulthood and cause issues in relationships. Our own attachment style vs the other person’s attachment style. A common combination is an anxiously attached person having a relationship with an avoidant person. This can go unnoticed and cause failed relationships only validating in some cases the persons biggest fears.

As you can see from this brief overview good attachment is vital for healthy relationships and plays a huge part in strong attachments throughout one’s life.

Few relationships exist conflict-free. The art of a working relationship is to be willing to understand one another and to acquire tools to resolve your disputes. Not voicing your needs, or allowing things to pass, will eventually cause resentment and one or the other – or in some cases both – in the relationship will shut down and give up.

How can counselling for couples help?

In long-term relationships or marriages, it is very easy to fall into the trap of not listening or communicating your needs clearly. We take on roles in the relationship; usually, ones we have taken on from our earliest relationships with our family are played out in our current relationships although most times we are completely unaware of this. What a couples counsellor can offer here is a safe space in which each person can express themselves secure in the knowledge that the therapist has no preconceived notions of who you are as a couple, with the added bonus that the counsellor has the skills and training behind them to guide you through your concerns and see the dynamic of your relationship and what is being played out.

 

Your Wellness Rooms is based in Greenwich, London, covering Blackheath, Charlton, Eltham, Woolwich, Lewisham and
other South East London areas.
We are also close to Docklands, Canary Wharf and Stratford.
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